Dating Tips and Advice from People Who Know – Divorce Lawyers

A recent article on Buzzfeed offered some dating guidance from an interesting source: divorce attorneys. The publication reached out to some lawyers from across the country, asking for some lessons learned from divorcing couples. It’s true that some marriages just can’t be saved – and that’s okay – but you can learn to recognize some warning signs of trouble early on that could help avoid some heartache later.

How well do you know your partner? For these people, not well enough…

Buzzfeed notes above all, you shouldn’t get married unless you really know your partner. This includes their living situation and their past relationships. They talk about these real-life examples of marriages doomed to fail because a couple didn’t communication about important details:

• A woman didn’t realize her husband was a hoarder until she moved in after the wedding
• A couple froze embryos together, only for the husband to leave the wife shortly after and demand the embryos be destroyed
• A wife who believed she was a vampire and slept in a coffin (yes, we’re serious)
• A woman who, it turned out, ran over her ex-husband with a car
• A woman discovered, after they were married, her husband had been previously indicted for murder and had several ex-wives go missing

Apparently, all of these actions came as a shock to their new spouse. Us too, if we’re being honest.

Although these are extreme examples, you can prevent unpleasant, even unsafe, surprises if you build a relationship with a strong foundation. Buzzfeed spoke to several divorce lawyers and they offered some advice.

Remember, these may not be “first date” kinds of questions, but keep them in mind if you’re thinking about a relationship with someone.

Get to know them – really know them

You want to know all about your potential future partner or spouse; the good and the bad. Per Buzzfeed: “You want to ask about best and worst and funniest family memories. You want to ask about embarrassing moments, what’s the worst job you’ve had?” Their answer, or even the way they respond to your question, can give you a lot of insight. Do you have mutual friends? Talk to them too.

Don’t be afraid to talk about money

Marriage involves money, and financial issues are often a contributing factor to divorce. Being honest and upfront about money and finances from the jump can help avoid disaster down the line. Per the article, “How much does your partner earn? Does it make sense to split all household expenses 50/50, or does one of you earn significantly more?” These might be uncomfortable questions, but they need to be addressed.

Every relationship needs maintenance

Never stop working on your relationship. It’s easy to get lazy, or let the little things break you down. Some of the best advice offered in the article? “Do not sweat the small stuff. Most of it is small stuff.”

The attorneys at Hartsoe & Associates, P.C. are here for all your family law needs. Contact us today if you need assistance with a divorce agreement, premarital agreement, separation agreement, child custody agreement, or any other related matter. To learn more about our services, please call us in Winston-Salem or Greensboro. You can also fill out our contact form to schedule a consultation.

This blog contains general information and does not constitute legal advice, and the ideas contained within may not apply to your specific case. For legal advice about your case, please contact an attorney directly.